On this day in 1940, four teenagers in France stumbled into the Lascaux caves and uncovered paintings that had been waiting 17,000 years to be seen. Bulls, horses, and deer covered the walls, proof that humans have always had the urge to record and share their world.

Today’s headlines may look different, but they’re really just the latest drawings on the wall so let’s get into them.

Diplomacy Meets the Epstein Files

UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer just axed Peter Mandelson as Britain’s ambassador to the US after a pile of emails showed his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein was way deeper than advertised. We’re talking about calling Epstein his “best pal” in a birthday note, more than 100 emails over five years, and even writing in 2008 that he “thought the world” of Epstein as the guy was heading to prison for sex crimes. Epstein, of course, was already notorious by then for exploiting underage girls and had become a global symbol of elite corruption. Not exactly the vibe you want from your top diplomat in Washington.

The details are messy. The leaked emails show Mandelson not only stayed in touch with Epstein but actively offered support during his legal troubles. That puts him far closer to Epstein’s inner circle than anyone in government had admitted. Until this week, Mandelson’s defenders tried to play down the relationship as distant and purely social. The evidence says otherwise.

The timing makes it sting worse. Starmer, the Labour Party leader who became prime minister last year, defended Mandelson just a day ago. Then he flipped once the evidence landed. Now he’s under pressure to explain what his government knew before appointing Mandelson to one of the most important diplomatic posts in the world in 2024.

This isn’t just a bad headline. Mandelson was a Labour heavyweight with Blair-era clout, and his firing leaves a dent in Starmer’s credibility. It also tosses a diplomatic wrench into UK–US relations at a moment when both countries need steady hands, not scandals.

Rapid Fire

🇧🇷 Brazil’s Supreme Court just handed down a historic verdict: former President Jair Bolsonaro has been sentenced to 27 years and three months in prison for plotting a coup to stay in power after losing the 2022 election. A majority of justices found him guilty on five counts, including leading an armed criminal organization and conspiring to assassinate political rivals. Bolsonaro becomes the first ex-president in Brazil’s history convicted of such a crime, a stunning fall for a man who once styled himself as the country’s Trump-like strongman.

The case ties back to the chaos of January 8, 2023, when his supporters stormed Brazil’s congress, Supreme Court, and presidential palace in a failed bid to overturn the vote. Investigators say Bolsonaro knew about and backed plans to kill President Lula da Silva, Vice President Geraldo Alckmin, and Supreme Court Justice Alexandre de Moraes. One justice dissented, but the majority ruled his involvement was clear. Bolsonaro is already under house arrest in another case, but this conviction locks in decades of prison time and signals a decisive break with the far-right movement he built. It’s not just a personal downfall, it’s a defining moment for Brazil’s democracy.

🇺🇸 An Arizona judge has temporarily blocked the Trump administration from deporting Guatemalan and Honduran children living in U.S. shelters or foster care after crossing the border alone. Thursday’s ruling by Judge Rosemary Márquez extends a Labor Day weekend order that stopped the government from putting kids on planes back to Guatemala without hearings. At the time, lawyers said the administration tried to rush through the deportations, with some children already loaded onto flights before a federal judge slammed on the brakes. Advocates say the strategy denies kids their right to present their cases before an immigration judge.

This fight is part of a larger battle over how the Trump administration is handling unaccompanied minors. Officials have tried to roll back protections under the long-standing Flores Agreement, which guarantees basic care and legal rights for children in custody. Judges have been stepping in to slow those efforts, but conditions for kids are still worsening, longer detention times, fewer family sponsorship options, and shrinking access to legal aid. The latest ruling doesn’t settle the issue. It just buys time in a high-stakes clash between the courts and an administration determined to deport children faster, even if it means bending or breaking the rules.

🚀 The U.S. just greenlit a $1.07 billion missile deal with Finland, arming the newest NATO member with 405 AIM-120D-3 AMRAAMs, advanced air-to-air weapons built for long-range dogfights. RTX (the company formerly known as Raytheon) is the prime contractor, and Congress still needs to sign off before the sale goes through. If approved, it’s a serious upgrade for Finland’s air defenses at a time when its neighborhood is anything but calm.

The timing is the whole point. Finland ditched decades of neutrality and joined NATO last year after Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, instantly becoming the alliance member with the longest direct border with Moscow, about 830 miles of it. Stocking up on some of NATO’s best missiles is less about saber-rattling and more about sending a clear message: Finland’s skies aren’t an easy target. Washington has been ramping up similar sales to other frontline NATO states like Poland and Denmark, aiming to harden the alliance’s eastern flank. For Finland, the deal is also about buying credibility fast, proving to older NATO members that it’s serious about pulling its weight in collective defense.

World Watch

Pakistani forces say they just killed 19 fighters in back-to-back raids on militant hideouts near the Afghan border. Fourteen died Wednesday in Mohmand district. Five more went down Thursday in North Waziristan and Bannu. The army calls them “Khwarij,” its term for the Pakistani Taliban (TTP), who’ve been running insurgency ops out of Afghanistan since the Taliban’s return in 2021. The group has carried out dozens of deadly attacks inside Pakistan this year, often targeting security forces and civilians alike.

This isn’t an isolated strike. Pakistan has been battling a resurgence of TTP attacks, with hundreds of raids, suicide bombings, and cross-border shootouts piling up since last year. Islamabad has even launched airstrikes inside Afghanistan after major ambushes, a move that’s pushed tensions with Kabul to the brink. The latest raid is just one move in a grinding conflict that’s turned the frontier into a permanent war zone and it shows no sign of easing.

Today in What the Hell

Ethiopian middle-distance star Diribe Welteji is suddenly fighting for her place at the world championships in Tokyo after the Athletics Integrity Unit (AIU) appealed a decision that cleared her of a missed doping test. Ethiopia’s own anti-doping agency ruled on September 1 that she hadn’t violated rules, but the AIU challenged that call a week later, taking the case to the Court of Arbitration for Sport. At issue is whether Welteji refused or failed to submit a test—an allegation that, if upheld, could mean instant suspension.

The timing couldn’t be worse. Welteji, 23, is ranked second in the world, owns a world silver medal from Budapest in 2023, and was expected to contend for gold in Tokyo just two days from now. CAS will decide whether she can even line up while the appeal plays out. Beyond her own career, the case highlights a bigger fight between national anti-doping agencies and international watchdogs over who gets the final say. For now, one of Ethiopia’s brightest medal hopes is stuck in limbo.

That’s all folks

That’s a wrap for today. The headlines may be messy, but they’re also proof that institutions, whether courts, watchdogs, or alliances, still have some bite. And if nothing else, stories like these remind us the world is always moving, sometimes in chaotic ways, but rarely without progress somewhere in the mix.

So take a breath, enjoy your day, and let’s meet back here tomorrow with fresh coffee and fresher news.